Man's Relationship With Dog Moves Beyond Petting: Sheriff

SPOTSYLVANIA, Va. (ARE YOU FUKIN KIDDING ME Is the dog's name SPOT?)-- A Spotsylvania man's family turned him in to police after he admitted to "fooling around" with the family dog, according to the Spotsylvania County Sheriff's Office.

(OK OK OK OK FOOOlling around???? Um CMON ALREADY PUPPY PEDOFILE!!!!!)

Robert John Ward, 66, was arrested Monday for alleged bestiality. Deputies began investigating Ward after a family member called authorities with the allegation.

(WTF was he putting on a show or something.. heyyyyy look what Fifffy can doo...mmmm mmmm)

Ward admitted to a deputy that he had touched the dog inappropriately and that he'd had the dog perform sexual acts on him, according to the sheriff's office.

(WOW so its like an act hey cool I can dig it..... OH dear god where did he put the kibble .. NO NO NO NO NO..... I now have the aristrocrats running in my head....YEEAAAkkkkkk )

A vet examined the dog and found that her anal glands were swollen, the sheriff's office said.

(SWOLLEN???? SWOLLLEN?????? UM hey I aint defendingthe guy but who knows what that vet was doing..... damaged goods and all... know what I mean???? sloppy seconds .. sick vet)

The accusing relative said the dog had been acting strange for several weeks.
(NO SHIT literally... acting strange....REALLY!!!!!!!!!!! how bout walking more bo-legged than a cowboy on horse asshole. I bet the family member called the cops cause they didn't get free tickets or soemthing.. damn family memebers...)

Ward's being held without bond at the Rappahannock Regional Jail.
(How much is that doggy in the window.... BARK BARK, I hear it likes taking it in the ASSSSSS!!!)